That's Why We Drink It Here

This post began as an attempt to delve into the relationship between Werner Herzog & Klaus Kinski. Its inspiration & its title was the following Kinski quote: "I wish Herzog would catch the plague, more than ever." That would have been a fun little post, but it went straight from Fitzcarraldo to Les Blank. I'm powerless to resist.

Fitzcarraldo has an amazing documentary of its making, Burden of Dreams by the inimitable Les Blank. Blank is probably my own personal favorite documentary filmmaker. It makes sense, I s'pose, that I'd love him so. Blank tends to be drawn to a few topics of more than passing interest to yours truly: food (Yum, Yum, Yum!; Chicken Real; Garlic is as Good as Ten Mothers), music & musicians (The Blues Accordin' to Lightnin' Hopkins; Hot Pepper; Sworn to the Drum: A Tribute to Francisco Aguabella; Chulas Fronteras) & Werner Herzog. Throw in some culturally anthropologic film (Gap-Toothed Women; God Respects Us When We Work, But Loves Us When We Dance; Always for Pleasure) to taste & you've got all the fixin's for fun.

In Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe*, Blank films Herzog doing just that, the result of a promise to Errol Morris. Now, for people who consider "documentary" to be more than an excuse to jerk yourself off on-camera a la Michael "Fucktard" Moore, Morris is often considered to be the foremost American documentarian working today. But back in the late 1970s, he was just another kid bitching about having no money to make a film. Our dear Mr. Herzog told him if he really wanted to make the film, he'd find a way, & said that if Morris ever did do it, he'd eat his shoe. Bless him; we got the magnificent Gates of Heaven & so much more; & Herzog kept his word.

My favorite Blank film is In Heaven There Is No Beer?, a humorous yet fond exploration of polka culture in the the eastern U.S. My particular favorite "character" is the short-shorts-wearing teenage girl we always referred to as the "polka slut" who proclaims her desire to cruise the broadwalk with a ghetto blaster pumping out polka tunes. Back when empty cases of PBR passed for acceptable living room end tables, a wicked drinking game guaranteed to inebriate even the hardiest souls by the conclusion of its 50-minute running time was devised by my friend ChrisAnn & I around this film. (It's the "Who Stole the Kishka" segment that really fucks you up.)

I keep forgetting I live in a real city now. Netflix, wonderful as it is, sometimes fails me. In this instance, the only Blank they have is Criterion's edition of Burden of Dreams. BUT - I have the fabulous Movie Madness (a fantastic video store peppered with movie costumes & props) within walking distance. And the fabulous Movie Madness has twelve Blank films for my viewing pleasure. Granted, it's not a terrible lot when you consider how many he's made. But still. It's been years since I've watched his work, so I'm excited for the refresher. And believe it or not, I've never actually seen Garlic is as Good as Ten Mothers, so I'm particularly enthused about that one. Heh.

Of course, per his Flower Films website, Blank came to the NW Film Center here in Portland in June 2006. Damn it. It's really a shame I didn't get my sorry ass dumped sooner or I might have been here for it. I'm mildly heartbroken to have missed it, actually. Kind of like waaaay back in the day when I was all into Allen Ginsberg &, because my parents wouldn't let me go to college early even though I'd worked my butt off to graduate high school a year ahead of schedule, I missed him speaking at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. He died not long thereafter. I'm still kinda pissed, though I've long since laid his works to the side.

OMG!!!!! (Heh. Blame the influence of "lolcats") Not only did I miss him in 2006 here in Portland, I also managed to miss him in Virginia in 2001. Looks like he was showing stuff around those parts about four months before I moved there. Why does Les Blank hate me when all I give him is love?

In conclusion! may I present the following:

Someone stole the kishka
Someone stole the kishka
Who stole the kishka,
from the butcher's shop?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone call the cops!

Fat and round and firmly packed
It was hanging on the rack
Someone stole the kishka
When I turned my back
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone bring it back!

Someone stole the kishka
Someone stole the kishka
Who stole the kishka,
from the butcher shop?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone call the cops!

Yusef found the kishka
Yusef found the kishka
Yusef found the kishka
And he hung it on the rack.
He found the kishka
He found the kishka
He found the kishka
Yusef brought it back
Heeeeeyyyyyyyy Hey!
huh-huh-huh-huh

For anybody who rents In Heaven There Is No Beer? & wants to party like they're 21, here are the rules (at least, to the best of my memory):

1) Drink once every time someone says "polka"
2) Drink once every time a new polka song comes on
3) Drink twice every time someone says "polkabration"
4) Drink once for every "kishka"

*Netflix fiends, you're in luck! This film is included as an extra on the release of Burden of Dreams.