Just Another Snobby Old Movie**

When I was a wee lass, I had in my possession a film guide. It had a still from Top Gun on the cover, with one or two tacky blue clip art renderings of film strips placed diagonally. The paper was that weird not-quite-newspaper, not-quite-book paper. It offered short capsule reviews of maybe 1,000 movies or so.

And for some reason, it had a profound influence on me.

I read it over & over & over again. Endlessly. Even after it grew so worn that the cover fell off. I still remember things like the picture of Anthony Hopkins from Magic &, yes, even the two-star rating given that film. Moreover, this book is why 1986 is my cut-off year - anything that happened after '86 feels recent, contemporary (the book was published that year). I cannot, however, recall its title.


One of the films it reviewed was this cheesy, tacky looking thing called Angel, released in 1984. The picture illustrating the review was an image of the movie's poster, which had the tag line "High school honor student by day. Hollywood hooker by night."


Friends, I have waited lo! these twenty two years for an opportunity to see this movie. I can't help it. I freakin' love that tag line. And those clothes! I have periodically checked Netflix on several occasions, only to turn away empty-handed.

No more.

I have now at my disposal a veritable cornucopia of teen genius hooker movies - Angel. Avenging Angel. And, oh yes, Angel III: The Final Chapter. I cannot tell you how excited I am. Of course, I know that this movie will very likely let me down. The thrill of the chase will be over. But, you know, if it means I get to realize a long-cherished goal, I think I can handle it.

Besides, it doesn't look like anybody's gonna put Summer Camp Nightmare on DVD anytime soon. The dream lives!



**A patron at the video store at which I work called me "snobby" after he asked what new releases I would recommend. I told him I didn't really watch a lot of new movies, & when queried, elaborated that I have an awful lot of catching up to do when it comes to cinema history. At which point I was dubbed "snobby". Whatever. Dude name-checked Birth of a Nation as the beginning of cinema. Fucking pleb.

Question

Mr. Pedestrian Symbol, I can overlook the lack of hands & feet, but...WHY NO NECK?

I Would Watch This Movie

Ideally, the Beavers would have to team up with their heretofore sworn enemies, the Butts, in order to defeat Las Vegas.


There's a little tear in my eye at the very thought of it.

Unbated Breath

Despite knowing next to nothing about it, beyond its truly marvelous title, I desperately* want to see Kung Fu Panda. Because of, well, its truly marvelous title.

Just in case you were wondering where I stood on that important issue.

* "Desperately" meaning "I will see it in three months when it plays at the Laurelhurst as long as it plays at grown-up times & not just at 1 p.m. on the weekend when kids are allowed in".

That's A Relief

"I don't care about anybody else."

That's not entirely true; but! on Saturday I was talking with somebody, & somehow the subject of organic food came up. I mentioned that recently I had switched to eating almost exclusively organic produce, since I'm a lucky enough bastard to be in a position to afford it & it has become important to me. The person was pretty strongly against organic food, because organic food companies oppose feeding starving people GMOs or something? I don't know. I didn't care. In fact, his diatribe prompted that six-word gem quoted above.

Although it was said largely in the interest of ending a conversation for which I cared not, I'd like to think this negates my hippie-dippie "ecological footprint" moment (see previous post). Understand, it's not the sentiment behind the thought; hey, I wipe my ass with recycled toilet paper & clean my toilet with "eco-friendly" products. It's more the very naturalness of the thought; the way it suddenly just tumbled uninvited into my mind, stood up, dusted itself off & asked me to make it a cocktail.

In short, I'd like to think that the latter statement smacked the former in the face. Just for the sake of perspective. Because I am currently living in abject terror of attaining "unbearably sanctimonious" status.* Fight the power!

*This could happen sooner than you think. Recently I was getting a cup of tea when I saw my boss throw an empty tea box into the trash. Without thinking (it seems I should give this "thinking" thing a try sometime!), I instantly barked, "[Name], NO! Recycle!" Yep. Because it's always a great idea to start the morning by yelling at your boss.