Poisson d'Avril

It's sunny. Warm. Gorgeous. The fir trees look magnificent against the blue sky. Heavens do I wish it were Caturday. Lol I'm there!

Speaking of spring: the month of April & the days leading up to it frequently provide the impetus for situations of either massive annoyance, confusion or both for yours truly. The ear-pricking & head-snaps endured during this time can be a bit trying. Also, there is a slight paranoia that sets in wherein I'm convinced that people are talking about me behind my back.

One of the most satisifying 10-minute bitch sessions I've ever had occurred when I found myself in the presence of two other girls named April.

Winner of the award for most frequent question asked by people when I tell them my name: Were you born in April? Why, yes. Yes, I was. My parents, you know, it's the strangest thing, but they were both born without any semblance of imagination. So when I popped out, they couldn't think of whatever to call me & just looked at a calendar & went with it. Lucky for me I wasn't born in September, right?

Okay, I'm full of shit. I was not born in April. And for the record, jokes about April showers are not particularly funny. And you may not call me "Aprilmayjune". Careful! One day I will turn into that girl with a noose for a braid & a knife in her hand. & I will cut you.

Note: I was actually obsessed with the movie April Fool's Day when I was a child. Well, the video box & the title. The horror section at the video store was always my favorite part - the boxes freaked me out. And no, I wasn't one of those kids with the "cool" parents who got to watch "R" rated movies. My cousin was, though. She saw Nightmare on Elm Street when she was six & thereafter slept with her mother until she was thirteen.

I also recall being fascinated with the following box. This is a pic of the poster - the box itself was all slick & puffy! My mom's got this one set aside for me on VHS at her video store (it sure as hell ain't on DVD):


Heavy metal horror. With Carmine Appice. It sounds too good to watch.

Also, this is really embarrassing, but this one made me afraid that toilet monsters were going to rip my ass off every time I copped a squat, for longer than I care to admit: