I'm A Capitalist, Baby. I Work For My Living, Not Suck Off Of Someone Else.

Hee hee! Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is the work that gives me respect for Roger Ebert, who wrote its screenplay. Who knew that Mr. Ebert was capable of penning lines such as "You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance"?

In fact, I'm utterly torn as to which is the better film, Valley of the Dolls or Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. How can you choose between the former's "You know how bitchy fags can be" & the latter's "This is my happening & it freaks me out"? Or the first film's "'Neely, you know you shouldn't take liquor with those pills'. 'They work faster.'", & the second's "You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime."

You cannot. Both are brilliant. Both demand to be seen.

If I had one complaint, in fact, it is that Beyond doesn't have enough sex. It's all implied. This was my first Russ Meyer film! I thought there would be, y'know, some freakin' sex! Apparently, though, he was actually trying for an R rating, so he shot lots of scenes for both R & X versions. It got an X anyway, but the studio insisted on rushing the film into theaters before he could re-edit the X-rated "R" version to add the actual X-rated scenes. Bummer.

Anyway. These movies RULE.