First, Last & Only

Far be it from me to make such bold proclamations, but I've never before commented on Oprah's Book Club & I hardly think it possible that I should be moved to comment again after this.

And actually, I don't think I know anybody who laps up Oprah-tastic reading selections like so much spoiled milk, but just in case I'd like to proffer a friendly warning with regard to her latest suggested title:

Middlesex sucks. So much so that I very nearly stopped reading it at the turn of every page; of course, given my sometimes masochistic bent toward finishing every book or movie I start, regardless of how wretched (Martin Scorsese's The Age of Innocence comes to mind as an early & enduring example), I did in fact read the entire horrid thing. In my defense, I thoroughly adored Jeffrey Eugenides' first novel, The Virgin Suicides (& was equally miffed when Sofia Coppola made her film adaptation, given my secret yearning to make one myself); so naturally I presumed that Middlesex would overcome its initial crappy trappings. Alas! 'Twas not to be.

In conclusion, do yourself a favor should you see this book, copies of which will undoubtedly forevermore be stamped with the "O" seal of approval: run. Run fast. Run far. Just run. Though to be sure Mr. Eugenides accrued accolades aplenty for this work, enough to cement my opinion into that of a dissenting minority of readers. And I'm certain that Oprah's endorsement will do much more for sales than that silly old Pulitzer Prize he won.

I will still buy his next book as soon as it comes out. After all, he is clearly a Serious Writer: