Sporting Life

Confession: I was really really into watching women's figure skating for a brief period of time last century. I mean, I knew my Bobeks from my Baiuls & my Itos from my Satos. So when Nancy Kerrigan got whacked on the knee in 1994, I ate that shit up with a spoon. In case you don't remember, Kerrigan was the polished Vera Wang-wearing princess from Massachusetts. And her competitor Tonya Harding, whose then-husband hired the knee-whacking fellow to knock Kerrigan out of the Olympics, was the tacky-teal-outfit-clad trailer trash from, yep, Oregon.

Some pictures say way more than a thousand words.

You don't even get to guess for whom I rooted & who got what they deserved in my view, but I'll give you a hint anyway: replace those bangs & that teal bit of nastiness with some blue hair & black clothes & by golly, I'd be peering into a tawdry mid-nineties mirror.

The moral of the story is, there is now a rock opera of the Nancy'n'Tonya saga. The world is a beautiful place. I don't think I need to see it, but I'm thrilled by its mere existence.

And ooh, quiz time! Match the words up with the skater on whose website they appear:

1) "Q- What advice do you give those who feel that their dreams are out of their reach?
A- To go for the dreams that you have and you will learn that the journey to get there is the most gratifying part."

2) "It would be having enough money to go hunting and fishing and go to the big four-wheel-drive mud bogs," she says. "And every once in a while put on a really pretty dress and go to dinner at a place like Applebee's or something."

Meaningless poorly-worded platitudes or mud bogs, people. Take your pick.

Also, whatever craven fantasies Nancy Kerrigan's fans have about her, she sure doesn't allow them to be posted in plain sight on her official website. Unlike some former figure skaters. I wonder how much meth it takes to make that sound like a great idea. I can't even bring myself to read 'em.

Wore My Heart On My Sleeve Like A Stain

HAPPY FREAKIN' NEW YEAR! 2008 will be wonderful. Just puttin' it out there. I also haven't slept since Saturday. I think. Well, Sunday morning. Not on purpose. Yeah.

BUT. Today I found THIS. Which is a compilation I made circa 2003-04 that sort of explains my love for Lloyd Cole. I remember spending so much time on this that eventually Music in a Foreign Language came out & then I had to rearrange everything to get "People Ain't No Good" on it. The time was worth it, I s'pose - as a comp it holds up pretty well, save a track or two (*cough* "Big Snake"). The goal was to include at least one song from every album, & I did, except for Plastic Wood, which is all instrumentals.

Lloyd Cole : Half Of Everything

Tracklisting:
01. Chelsea Hotel (I'm Your Fan: The Songs of Leonard Cohen, 1991)
02. Lost Weekend (Easy Pieces, 1985)
03. So You'd Like To Save The World (Bad Vibes, 1993)
04. Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken? (Rattlesnakes, 1984)
05. Big Snake (Mainstream, 1987)
06. You're A Big Girl Now (Etc., 2001)
07. Happy For You (Love Story, 1995)
08. Half Of Everything (Don't Get Weird On Me Babe, 1991)
09. Undressed (Lloyd Cole, 1990)
10. Four Flights Up (Rattlesnakes, 1984)
11. My Bag (Mainstream, 1987)
12. She's A Girl & I'm A Man (Don't Get Weird On Me Babe, 1991)
13. Love Ruins Everything (Love Story, 1995)
14. People Ain't No Good (Music In A Foreign Language, 2004)
15. Old Enough To Know Better (Etc., 2001)
16. Man Enough (Don't Get Weird On Me Babe, 1991)
17. Rattlesnakes (Rattlesnakes, 1984)
18. Downtown (Lloyd Cole, 1990)
19. That Boy (The Negatives, 2001)
20. Unhappy Song (Love Story, 1995)

The first time I encountered Lloyd Cole was fall 2001, when I discovered his cover of "Chelsea Hotel" on the otherwise dreadful Leonard Cohen tribute album I'm Your Fan. I kind of fell in love with his voice, one thing led to another, I quickly realized that he also has a brilliant way with words & within a year I'd acquired a decent collection. So clinical sounding! Ah, I can do not better tonight. My brain is fuzzy.

One ought not to play favorites I s'pose, but fuck it, I'll say it: I could listen to "Undressed" for endless days. Its innocence & endearing sweetness are enchanting. Having listened to it at least 20 times today & having not slept in about 60 hours, I've concocted all sorts of harebrained notions about it, none of which are as eloquent as "We could disconnect the telephone/Just sit around & mess around & tell your ma we went to Rome, Tennessee". Obviously I love all of these songs, but damned if I'm not a sucker for sweet. Must be the ovaries. Then again, I've also listened to "People Ain't No Good" about 20 times today too, which is, uh, not very sweet. So go figure.

But for the albums, well, Love Story is one of my all-time favorites. As in, ever. Holy crap. It's just...beautiful. If some bastard came to rob me of my Lloyd Cole collection, I would weep fiercely & plead for Love Story to be spared. The CD, anyway. I guess he could have the cassette tape.