Showing posts with label captain cleavage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label captain cleavage. Show all posts

29 February 2008

LOL It's Almost Caturday!

You know what sucks? Arriving at work on the leap day of a leap year & remembering of a sudden that the last time it was leap day, you were gallivanting about Rome, hunting down the Tomb of the Baker. Which might not be quite as depressing for you, if Rome be not your heimat, but it sure as spit bums me out. At least Mr. Leap Day has the decency to be Friday...

Also, I recall what happened right after that trip, which would be the first, last & particularly debilitating case of bronchitis I acquired on the plane ride home. Seriously, I thought it was SARS. My favorite memory of that illness would be the day it took me literally three hours to work up the energy to get out of bed, walk 15 feet to the bathroom to grab a bottle of cold medicine, & stumble back to bed only to realize with dismay that I'd snagged the completely wrong bottle of cold medicine. I cried. And I had this bizarre lingering throat affliction which took four months & five medications to clear up. Actually I also cried when the ENT specialist gave me that last set of meds, because having swallowed four consecutive courses of pills & then being told your fifth involves huge pinky-thick things that appear to be made for horses, while your throat screams in severely swollen pain...is not as fun as it may sound. Ah, whatever.

On a happier note, it was decided last night that if anybody knows of a more perfect combination than eating a brie-n-butter baguette sandwich whilst sipping lemongrass soda & watching M. Hulot's Holiday, well, you can KEEP IT TO YO'SELF. The committee for wonderfulness is officially Not Interested. (N.B. The tennis scene made me laugh harder than anything since, okay, well, since This is Spinal Tap played at the Laurelhurst a couple of weeks ago. But still. Ridiculously funny. Highly recommended.)

And Mandy, re: your comment on my 23 July 2007 post - you have no idea. From December through about last week, I was getting approximately 300 hits a day on that post. Which is a lot for this silly piffle of a blog & means that, like, thousands of people around the world have now seen what puts the cleav after the captain. Whatever. I find it entirely amusing. (My personal fave comment, though, happened last summer IRL when I wore that dress to a wedding reception & my beloved friend Colin remarked, "I'm gay & I can't stop staring." Man, I miss my PA bitches.) At least it's slowed as quickly & inexplicably as it started, or else I might have to get all analytical about what it means. And then the poor little pea that lives in my skull would go 'round & 'round in circles until I got a nasty headache & I'd need a hot toddy & a roomful of pastel-hued soft fluffy things to calm me down.

Mmm...pastel-hued soft fluffy things...and...


The question is, will I never grow weary of lolcats?

23 July 2007

Boob Dress Rules!

Well, I guess I know what to wear whenever I want some attention. I left my apartment for approximately a grand total of 30 minutes yesterday to go to Zupan's, & got hit on no fewer than three times. My personal favorite was the older black gentleman who said "If I was 35 years younger..." (I love getting compliments from older black men. They're always so polite but lascivious at the same time. It's fun.) The dress is a bit too big for me, though, so I find constant vigilance is required in ensuring the bottom portion of my bra doesn't peek out. I have to say, sometimes the attention is nice. I even got followed by some guy in a truck who asked if I needed some help with my beer. I declined. He wasn't bad-looking, but the last time I let some guy in a car pick me up, he turned out to be far more relationship-inclined than I.

Whatever. I like my boobs.


Although I have to admit, this dress does make the clothing I previously thought boob-rific look, well, positively modest.

10 July 2007

Hot Damn!

It is 101 degrees here right now. No foolin'. Even though there's no humidity, that's HOT HOT HOT. 'Sokay, though. At some point today I realized my new dress is so revealing that it renders me less "Captain Cleavage" & more "King Jugs". But really, what's the fun of having big tits if one doesn't wantonly display them? Plus, they're well-ventilated to handle the heat!

(Although I recently found out I know someone who's at the "K" level of bra size, which is eight cups past me & makes me feel practically flat-chested.)